Skincare gods, I have questions; Why am I still spotty? Aren’t we just told this is what happens to teenagers? Why am I, as a 37 year old woman, still a blemish prone mess?
I used to stare at my friends in secondary school and wonder what I’d done wrong.
Why was my skin so red, so angry, so full of bumps and breakouts when theirs looked smooth and calm? What was I doing wrong. What was the secret that everybody else knew that I wasn’t in on?
I scrubbed. I dried it out. I bought into every lie the beauty aisle sold me.
And now I’m in my late thirties, still spotting my reflection, or avoiding it, and asking the same question:
Why am I still spotty? Why me?
The Teenage Years: Scarring Our Skin With Good Intentions
We were raised on a brutal skincare regime:
- Apricot scrubs that promised “exfoliation” but shredded our faces.
- Oxy pads soaked in alcohol that stung so much, we believed the pain meant it was working.
- Toothpaste on zits, lemon juice, baking soda masks — kitchen chemistry in the name of “clearing it up.”
We were taught that spots a sign of dirt, laziness, or poor hygiene.
And if you were really unlucky, the comments came:
“You need to wash your face properly.”
“Stop eating chocolate.”
“Don’t touch your skin so much.”
As if we hadn’t already tried everything.
The worst was when my one of my boyfriend’s mum would say “oh, you’re poor skin”. I know she meant it kindly but it just highlighted how bad my skin was. I didn’t want pity. I wanted to be clear and clean, like the adverts promised.
The Silent Shame of the Spotty Adult
There’s something quietly cruel about reaching adulthood and realising you’re still in the same skin battle.
You go to work and wonder how everyone else has glowy, even-toned skin.
You scroll through social media and see perfect faces — filtered or not, you can’t help but compare.
You hesitate before video calls, worry about photos, cancel nights out because your skin is having “a moment.”
I would put makeup on even if I just knew the postman would be coming round that day to deliver something. I wanted to avoid the shame of people seeing my natural skin, at all costs.
It’s not vanity. It’s vulnerability. Because unlike a teenage phase, adult acne sometimes carries this unspoken message:
You’re not doing something right. You should have grown out of this.
But in more recent years, the conversations have changed. Skincare YouTubers and bloggers have made it the norm to talk about these skincare issues and the truth is out.
The Truth: You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
Some of us were simply handed different skin.
Some of us were handed hormones we didn’t ask for, genetic cards we didn’t deal, and advice that did more harm than good.
Adult acne, or even just redness, is often:
- Hormonal (hello, jawline flare-ups every cycle)
- Stress-triggered (try relaxing when your chin’s erupting)
- Inflammatory (yes, even that “natural” product can cause chaos)
- Scarring from overuse and over-treatment
It’s not your fault.
It’s not because you’re unclean, unattractive, or undisciplined.
And it doesn’t make your natural skin any less worthy of being seen.
Rewriting the Skincare Script
Being a spotty adult in a filtered world is hard. But it’s not hopeless.
You are allowed to:
- Say no to ten-step routines, sometimes the simplest routines can be the best.
- Use makeup because it empowers you — or not use it at all.
- Share your face anyway. Spotty? Red? Who cares!
We didn’t choose the acne journey. But we can choose not to carry shame with it anymore.
Becoming a mum gave me the push I needed to be more ‘okay’ with my natural skin. I didn’t have time to do a full makeup routine before I went out everyday.
Now, I have become more used to leaving the house with bare skin, although I still struggle some days with looking in the mirror and seeing my red face or another blemish that has popped up overnight.
We are working on it!
Final Thought
If you’re still spotty, you’re not alone. I’m spotty too.
You’re just a human in skin — real skin, complex skin, skin that’s been through a lot and still shows up.
You’re allowed to exist without an apology — or a concealer.
