Let’s Discuss Why You Don’t Need a Perfect Friendship Group to Be Complete
(And you’re not broken if you’re not in a group chat called “The Girlies”)
There’s this strange pressure, isn’t there? That everyone else is part of some big, beautiful girl gang — always on group holidays or posting #squadgoals selfies.
But the reality? Nearly half of adults in the UK say they feel lonely at least sometimes. And over 20% say they have no close friends at all, according to YouGov research. That’s a lot of people quietly wondering if they’re the only ones without a lifelong brunch crew or a friend who texts every day “just because.”
I’ve never had that picture-perfect friendship group. No coordinated weddings. No twelve-girl hen do. No running-into-each-other’s-arms airport reunions. And for a long time, I thought that meant something was wrong with me.
It doesn’t.
But I won’t lie — sometimes, I get that sinking feeling. That ache of unworthiness. Like I must be doing something wrong to not be surrounded by friends.
A couple of years ago, when I was really feeling it, I got a message from someone I used to be really close with — sleepovers and secrets type of close. She said she was having a little gathering and wanted me to come. Some of our old friendship group would be there too. It felt like a lifeline. I even dug out an old photo of us all and imagined recreating it — a cute little full-circle moment.
But a week before the get-together, I found out the truth: it was a party for her MLM products. I wasn’t being invited as a friend — I was being invited as a potential customer. Or worse, someone to recruit.
I made my excuses and didn’t go. Because here’s the thing: I don’t want a friendship that only resurfaces when there’s something to gain. I don’t want to be a name in someone’s inbox just because they need to hit a sales goal. And if saying no to that makes me a little more guarded, a little more selective about who I let in? I’m okay with that.
And I know I’m not alone in that feeling. A YouGov study found that 1 in 5 people in the UK say they have no close friends, and almost a third have just one or two. That’s a lot of us quietly navigating life without a ready-made crew.
Some people thrive in big groups. They keep up with the traditions, the group chats, the constant social swirl. I think that’s lovely — for them.
But maybe your circle is smaller. Maybe your people are scattered. Maybe you’re still looking.
That doesn’t mean you’re broken.
You are still worthy. Still interesting. Still lovable. Still you.
You don’t need a dozen Instagrammable friendships to prove anything. The real thing rarely fits in a square anyway.
Here’s to the ones who have fewer people, but deeper boundaries. To the ones who have been burned, and still remain open. To the ones who choose real over performative.
You’re not doing friendship wrong. You’re just doing it your way.
And honestly? That’s kind of powerful.
Want more honest reflections on life behind the filters?
If this post spoke to your heart, you might also like my piece Going Solo: What I Learned From a Year of Solo Adventures — a gentle look at the strength in choosing your own path, even when it means walking it alone for a while.
